All it matters is the outcome and discriminating between those who succeed and those who fail happens every day. By losing your initial bankroll and failing to recover after depositing more money, only looks like the worst-case scenario. For many this is a wake-up call and some are smart enough to tag this as a dead end, while seeking a different way of making money. Lady luck is blind, but if it smiles benevolently upon people in their early stages of a gambling career, it can blind them too.
Not everyone is suited for gambling and whether they lack the discipline, patience or money to keep playing, the outcome is the same. Losses keep gamblers grounded As stated above, loss can bring an untimely end to a seemingly promising career of aspiring gamblers and it is definitely not the worst that can happen. Those who survived the initial stage and keep playing, can also benefit from occasional losses, even though very few realize it.
When people are happy they doubt nothing, but when they are sad or hurt, they start doubting everything and doubt leads to awareness. When you win, you are less likely to review your performance and try to determine whether luck or skill was behind your success. We take fortune for granted while blaming bad luck for everything and that is why losses are necessary every now and then.
ReplyQuote Joydivider joydivider Ive thought a lot about this and Ive been a credit controller. The money has to be put behind us and debts must not make us ill with stress.
Its not an easy ask but there is no soft chasing as I tried that in my head thinking I will carefully win it back tiny bit by bit It doesnt happen because the money was lost in the red mist and it isnt coming back on easier odds. When we had a blow out the money is gone. It makes it infinately harder knowing we have to get a certain amount back. The roulette wheel or fruit machine doesnt develop a sympathy complex and go easy. I think the stress of debt causes people to chase gamble.
Thats what we do as compulsive gamblers Triggers are thoughts, feelings, situations, and behaviors which make you want to gamble. For example, being around friends who gamble is a powerful trigger for many gamblers.
Identify your triggers by keeping a thought journal. When you have the desire to gamble, stop at that moment and write down your thoughts possible trigger such as thinking about gambling , feelings perhaps boredom which is a trigger to gambling , and ways you are going to cope with your trigger.
Do negative emotions such as stress or sadness lead to your gambling? If so, you may need to learn better ways to deal with these emotions. Do you often gamble when you are looking for excitement? If so, boredom could be a big trigger for you. You may need to keep yourself busy or engage in other exciting and safe activities to fulfill your need for a thrill.
I compulsively lied to family and friends to borrow money. I think universities should offer Gamblers Anonymous meetings. I was unable to get to a GA until after I dropped out, which delayed my recovery. I self-excluded from websites throughout uni, which did stop me gambling with that specific company — but there is always another bookie lurking around the corner.
Universities need to be much more proactive in preventing addiction taking root. They need to raise gambling to the same level of conversation as that which already exists for drugs and alcohol on campus.
Yet there were no guidelines from the university or union with how to deal with these approaches — they are designed to get people addicted, not to help a fledgling poker society pay for blazers. Without further adieu, here we go. The year was and I was 16 years old. Unfortunately for me, I was right and I felt an adrenaline rush a 16 year old has no business feeling.
It was the beginning of the end. I graduated high school and attended the University of Miami on a partial scholarship. I would deposit a few hundred dollars here and a few hundred dollars there and I was actually pretty good at it. Sports is what I knew best, and while I was earning a degree in gambling from the University Officially called probability and statistics , I was also enhancing my handicapping professional gambling term skills.
The sharper my gambling skill set, the bigger the problem became. I started skipping random classes because there was a day baseball game on TV.
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I have to accept for me its time to go to work so have to rush now, when I'd have liked to have written so much more. That's a pretty apt analogy you gave, and i think it makes a lot of sense. In a way i suppose I'm 'grieving' over the loss now. This reminds me of about 18 years ago when i first started betting on football. After the loss, i never gambled, not even for fun when i'm with friends. Time healed that wound, but I guess it also made me forget how painful that loss was.
I hope I will have the stength and determination to see through this period of 'mourning' and give up this destructive habit for life now..
But to me I hope it will never be any harder than getting through one day. Tomorrow will soon be today, worry about that when it gets here. It's an awful addiction to get on top of as you know. Learning to accept is one of the hardest things. Well done for looking for help. I've gone through today without gambling, but my mind still drifts back to the 10k frequetly. Hopefully it will get better with time.
I'm spent most of today reflecting and trying to find the silver lining. Hopefully I can use this experience to change myself for the better. Until I had money again. And then I would chase those losses, forgetting about the fact that what I was doing was exactly how I got them. I've met a former lotto winner here. He gambled away his lotto win. Because really it's the gambling that has us hooked.
I guess my point is, each time we hit a new low we dwell on what we have lost. It represents things we could have bought or done or ways we could have stopped doing the crap job we don't like or so many other options. But when we were stuffing it all in a slot machine or placing it on a number on line it i didn't represent any of those things.
It will mostly likely be so much more. So by not betting that next dollar just think how much you are saving! You didn't chose to be an addict but you can chose recovery. I absolutely agree and it's just so scary how I didn't see the value of the money I was throwing away. I would put 2k in a single bet without batting an eyelid, when I would have had put in so much thought if I want to purchase something of the same value.
Anyway I've been over reading your Journal and I could feel your struggle with gambling as well. It hasn't been an easy journey for u, and I hope you manage to get thru eventually as well. Hang in there Laura! Think now. What if I am 20k or 30k or 50k down, which could happen.
Then you would wish that you had hot out at just 10k losses. I know from experience. Please read my journal and please don't go down the same route. Stop now please Read your Journal and Your experience has really given me some perspective, and I really hope u hang in there.
Soldier on brother in uniform, and hopefully we will get thru this together. My mind kept drifting back to how I had always managed to win back half my losses before it all collapses again. So what if I could do it again? I could win back at least 5k and bid my time for the next sure-win bets to come. There is so much I can do with 5k! But just as I was about to go looking, it dawned upon me that each recovery was also followed by a greater fall.
I could be down 20k by this time tmr and that would have broken me. Continue with the recovery Semaj, and take it one day at a time. One day at a time. Hang in there. Along with this same process, you need to become honest with yourself about the amount of money you have won or lost. Keep a record book of the games you win or lose. If you chart your wins and losses over time, it helps you to figure out if there are any patterns to your wins and losses, and if you play multiple games, which games you are better at.
Learn to Accept Your Losses One of the marks of a gambler is to learn to live with your losses. Accepting your losses and planning for them means when they do occur, you can handle them with clarity and calm. If You Think You Have a Severe Gambling Problem If you try to follow these steps and you continue to lose, or you spend a great deal of money chasing your wins or losses, you may have a gambling problem, and you may need to do something other than set goals and make budgets.
You may need to get help for a gambling problem. Lots of agencies can give you help and advice for creating a plan to stop gambling, getting clear of any debt you may have incurred, and creating a plan to remain free from gambling.
Some people can quit gambling on their own, but others need help to address their gambling issues. Prevalence: How common is it? Gambling is widespread. Increased accessibility, for example, through online gambling, calls for greater awareness and appropriate legislation.
Anyone who provides gambling services has a responsibility to develop policies and programs to address underage and gambling addictions. Research, treatment, and prevention of problem gambling should be encouraged. Getting help If a person suspects they might have a gambling problem, there are a variety of self-tests available on the internet.
Those tests will not give a diagnosis and do not replace a face-to-face evaluation with a trained clinical professional, but they can help people decide whether to seek formal evaluation of their gambling behavior. A clinical professional will provide a detailed assessment and develop an adequate treatment plan, based on the individual's needs.
Treatment and assistance may need to address various aspects of the person's life, family, education, financial issues, any legal problems, and professional situation. There are rises in violent crimes, property crimes, insurance fraud, more white-collar crime, and more juvenile crime…. Casinos produce crime in their own host counties and that crime in turn spills over into neighboring counties. Nevada, where gambling is most prominent, has ranked first in crime rates every year for the last decade.
Not only are these statistics typical for the state of Nevada, but similarly, crime rates soared percent in the nine years after Atlantic City casinos and gambling to the city and its surrounding area American Family Association. Atthis time gambling is called 'the fastest-growing teenage addiction, with the rate of The second way gambling effects crime is by attracting organized crime.
Organized crime is probably not as prevalent on Gambling is an addicting habit which should be controlled, In areas where gambling is most prominent, crime is also most prominent. Part of the reason there is such a significant increase in crime around and near casino or legalized gambling areas, is because problem gamblers or addicts become so attached to gambling that once they have gambled away their family savings, they steal, embezzle, and commit fraud to have money to gamble with Walker 3.
In Oregon, 4 o percent of the people who enter addiction treatment therapy for gambling problems have committed crimes to feed their addiction Prengaman 2. She was more worried about helping herself and her bad habit, than helping her son get an education and a better life.
A question often raised in discussion of problem gambling, is what exactly classifies a person as a pathological gambler. Many experts believe that there is a formula for problem gamblers. A problem gambler or excessive gambler is defined as one who does or has done a majority of the following: gambles once a week or more often, has lost more than they can afford six or more times, has debt due to gambling, chases losses, wants to cut back or stop gambling, conceals losses, and has tried to stop without success Barker Personality traits that predispose people for problems with gambling include need for power, need for achievement, and the need for recognition.
In addition, a poor family life or defective relationship between parents and children can cause a void that must be filled in a individual, affecting the predisposition for addiction Walker Experts have found that there are some groups that are more likely to become problem gamblers. Men are more likely to gamble than women and the working class is more involved in gambling than the middle or upper classes Walker 4. It has also been shown that culture greatly affects gambling and gambling addiction.
Therapy can provide you with the tools for coping with your addiction that will last a lifetime. Family therapy and marriage, career, and credit counseling. These can help you work through the specific issues that have been created by your problem gambling and lay the foundation for repairing your relationships and finances. How to help someone stop gambling If your loved one has a gambling problem, you likely have many conflicting emotions.
You may have spent a lot of time and energy trying to keep your loved one from gambling or having to cover for them. At the same time, you might be furious at your loved one for gambling again and tired of trying to keep up the charade. Your loved one may have borrowed or even stolen money with no way to pay it back.
They may have sold family possessions or run up huge debts on joint credit cards. While compulsive and problem gamblers need the support of their family and friends to help them in their struggle to stop gambling, the decision to quit has to be theirs.
As much as you may want to, and as hard as it is seeing the effects, you cannot make someone stop gambling. However, you can encourage them to seek help, support them in their efforts, protect yourself, and take any talk of suicide seriously. Preventing suicide in problem gamblers When faced with the consequences of their actions, problem gamblers can suffer a crushing drop in self-esteem.
This is one reason why there is a high rate of suicide among compulsive gamblers. If you suspect your loved one is feeling suicidal, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline in the U.
Four tips for family members: Start by helping yourself. You have a right to protect yourself emotionally and financially. Ignoring your own needs can be a recipe for burnout. Reaching out for support will make you realize that many families have struggled with this problem. Set boundaries in managing money. To ensure the gambler stays accountable and to prevent relapse, consider taking over the family finances.
Your first responsibilities are to ensure that your own finances and credit are not at risk.
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However, if those deductions are disproportionately large in comparison with your income, it will raise a red flag. The reason for this is because the IRS knows what is the average charitable deduction for people at your level of income. Did you donate some very valuable property? In this case we hope you got an appraisal for it. Then you better make sure you file form It can also be very risky to claim big gambling losses.
Your gambling goes from a fun, harmless diversion to an unhealthy obsession with serious consequences. Whether you bet on sports, scratch cards, roulette, poker, or slots—in a casino, at the track, or online—a gambling problem can strain your relationships, interfere with work, and lead to financial disaster.
You may even do things you never thought you would, like running up huge debts or even stealing money to gamble. Of course, you can also have a gambling problem without being totally out of control. A gambling addiction or problem is often associated with other behavior or mood disorders. Many problem gamblers also suffer with substance abuse issues, unmanaged ADHD, stress, depression, anxiety, or bipolar disorder.
Fact: A problem gambler may gamble frequently or infrequently. Gambling is a problem if it causes problems. Myth: Problem gambling is not really a problem if the gambler can afford it. Fact: Problems caused by excessive gambling are not just financial. Too much time spent on gambling can also lead to relationship and legal problems, job loss, mental health problems including depression and anxiety, and even suicide.
Myth: Having a gambling problem is just a case of being weak-willed, irresponsible, or unintelligent. Fact: Gambling problems affect people of all levels of intelligence and all backgrounds. Previously responsible and strong-willed people are just as likely to develop a gambling problem as anyone else. Myth: Partners of problem gamblers often drive their loved ones to gamble.
Fact: Problem gamblers often try to rationalize their behavior. Blaming others is one way to avoid taking responsibility for their actions, including what is needed to overcome the problem. Myth: If a problem gambler builds up a debt, you should help them take care of it. Fact: Quick fix solutions may appear to be the right thing to do.
However, bailing the gambler out of debt may actually make matters worse by enabling their gambling problems to continue. Problem gamblers also typically deny or minimize the problem—even to themselves.
The Day of Your Loss Every trader has bad days. As a rule, never let a bad day cost you more than you make on an average profitable day. Control the downside. A big loss causes all sorts of inner conflict—a need for revenge, fear, anger, frustration, self-hate, market-hate, and the list goes on. After a big loss, there's no way to trade with a clear head. There are more than trading days in a year, so there is no rush to get back in there; today is not the day to make it back.
Accept Responsibility Maybe it was just a bad few days, maybe it was your biggest single loss ever, or maybe it's a life-altering loss. In the latter case—facing financial ruin—there isn't much to do. Don't trade until the issue is resolved. Once it is, then you can proceed to the steps below, but not before. Don't trade with a massive debt over your head with intentions of using it to abolish that debt; that's a lot of pressure and could lead to a worse predicament.
If you have drawn down your account, had a losing streak, or suffered a big sudden loss, that's different. You're still in the game, just a little beaten up. You guessed it right, that triggered me to gamble again. The only casino was up in the mountain far far away.
I had 20k in my account and I felt fantastic. However, my desire to gamble kicked in when I was overwhelmed by the stress. I started dreaming about Pokies again but I was in good hands because I had no avenue to gamble!
One day, I was looking at Facebook and on my news feed, an old friend had a status update about playing poker online. That instantly gave me an idea! I googled for the best online Casino, picked on that appealed to me, registered an account and started playing online slots.
It started real small but grow exponential. I savings went to 20k to negative in no time. I had a company sub-account under my name and I stole money from it to fuel my online slots addiction. I've always paid back the money I took within a few days. I have self excluded myself when things got out of hand, but some sites, particularly the ones operated by Asians, allow you to reopen your account by just an email.
I've held numerous accounts with numerous online casinos. Bet, and EuroGrand have fantastic self exclusion system as you have absolutely no way of re-opening your account during the self exclusion period. However, Asian sites like M88 and Dafa88 does not care. You can re-open your account easily, or, you can open several user accounts and they will allow that.
Tingling feeling on the skin, neck, heart race, unusual excitement and fidgety. In Australia, I was playing at 1. Losing 20k a night was a frequent thing. To be fair, I had huge wins as well, I once pulled out 40k after a gambling marathon of 10 hours straight. I thought I'd be jumping with joy, but I actually felt depressed even after the win. It has something to do with "dopamine overdose" and the feeling of emptiness once the gambling stops. So, win or lose, I still felt depressed.
WTF right? Crying Restlessness This is just a partial list of the feelings, thoughts, and behaviors that are a part of the grieving process. If you remember living with some of these when you had a loss, you were likely experiencing grief. The problem with this is that we tend not to acknowledge our feelings as grief when we lose something other than a loved one. So, can we really grieve over losses brought on us by the economy? But even in these tough times, there are ways to develop resiliency and not only bounce back, but thrive.
Complications of financial grief Financial loss is not only about money. Here are just some of the other losses that come along with a sudden drop in assets: Plans for retirement: Those ideas you had about retiring in a few years may have gone by the wayside now due to your K and IRAs losing money, having to dip into your savings sooner than you thought to keep the house, your business earning much less than in the years before the recession, unemployment, or losing your house.
Housing: That loan that seemed so great a few years ago now has you upside down and struggling to pay your mortgage. Lifestyle: Your lifestyle may have taken a big hit in the last couple of years. Eating out, vacations, recreation time and activities, buying gifts for others. Life Script: When very young, you started to write a Life Script for yourself. What is it about this type of grief that is different than the emotions we feel when we lose someone we love?